Probing the Mind of a Relationship Abuser

Although all abusers are unified in their inclination to lay the blame on their partners, the truth remains that their actions are rooted in their personal insecurities and issues. As it is, they are psychologically tormented individuals who have also been exposed to prolonged abuse, especially during their growing up years. To better shed light on the differentiated workings of the mind of abusers, ponder on these:

They have very poor self-esteem. Despite their domineering ways, their true identities are often entwined with that of their partners, albeit their knowledge.

Violence is their means of gaining dominance and authority in their relationships.

They make their partners dependent on them by isolating them from other support networks like friends, family, etc.

The greatest fear of abusers is being left by their partners, hence, they restrict their contact with support networks and financial resources—bank accounts, credit cards, etc.

Although done subconsciously, abusers eat away their partners' self-esteem through humiliation, derogation, and criticism to increase their dependency on them, thus, preventing the latter from leaving them.

Should their partners manage to extricate themselves from the relationship, the loss of authority and control could drive abusers to resort to desperate means.

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